Defeated and down,
I wallowed in my state of affairs,
Again… I said to Myself, I have failed again.
Shame was waltzing around in my heart,
Guilt was giddy with glee,
I needed help,
I needed rescuing,
I basically needed “picking up from the miry clay”
But, I didn’t wanna approach God,
Too ashamed that I had disappointed Him again,
Too afraid to hear His disapproval over my defeat.
So I sat there,
Broken and bruised,
With no strength to take the next step,
After a few hours of self abasement,
I decided to call on my Father,
If He is upset, well, I am just gonna have to bear His wrath,
Coz, I’d rather be in the way of His wrath,
Than in the pit of my past sins and despair.
With a weak voice and a frail heart,
I bowed my head and whispered the name “Jesus”, The moment the name left my lips,
He was there in an instant,
Paying no heed to the muck and mire I was in,
He pulled me close and hugged me tight!
Tears streaming down my face!
“Daughter”, he said, “Daddy’s here now,
Everything is alright!”
Grabbing onto Him with both my hands,
I sobbed,
I sobbed with anger, failure, disappointment and defeat,
But above all I sobbed with Love, for He was the one holding me steady while I sobbed my heart out.
Running back to God is always our last resort,
But what if,
Just what if..
That was our first reflex,
Run back to Him, without a second thought,
Run into His open arms,
Run straight to His blessed heart and let Him hold you there.
Song: Just be Held by Casting Crowns
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Psalm 40:2 NIV